Jesus I am having a hard time catching and holding onto my thoughts. They flicker like the light cast from a fire. I know You are here with me. Jesus I am filled with alot I guess. I want You to be so with my brother walking through the season of healing. Jesus, thank You for his life last night. Thank You.
    Holy God You break into my thoughts so often these days... my hunger for You does not seem to abate but asks only draw from a deeper and deeper well. I feel like I am in such a precious spot right now amongst a body that is desiring not only You but to go where You lead. I love that it fills me with such emotion delight. Thank You for that too. 
   Why did You love me with such abandon these last days Jesus? The amount of times and ways You spoke to me through people and circumstance was literally staggering. I don't know if I am to spend time thinking it through but You made me feel like You were pleased with me. Huh. Kind of like a affirmation that I was hearing and following You.
   Jesus I want to write this down before I forget.  It is just a small thing but last night it seemed very significant. I realized that when I pray for our body, for our growing up... for the in pouring of Your Spirit I am looking at the same spot in our church building every time. It is the right side at the front .... it is where we are now starting to pray. Wow. 
   Jesus please hold me. Your hand comes up and holds my head firmly against Your chest. In my want of You I lose sense of what the rest of my body is doing ... I cannot feel my arms but think they are holding You in a grip that is with the intensity of holding onto life itself. My heart is heavy it burns and aches.   
   excerpts from my journal.... Feb 14/11