March 18/11
Day 10 of lent

   Well I woke up this morning with the distinct feeling that You were still holding me. Huh. Also of note was the Scripture that Bailey brought up. About discipline of all things. hahaha. Hebrews 12. I am going to slip out and do chores but before I went I just wanted to say thank You Jesus for still holding onto me. This day has all sorts of potential for needing You this closely. (this desperately) I'll be right back.

    Well it has now been quite a while but a good while. Jesus I love You. Interesting. There is so many little things about our relationship that are both subtle and powerful. The way I want to meet with You but can't in the worldly definition... The way Your sacrifice extends from the cross onwards... You too long for me (us) too and yet must wait in ways that must at times be torturous. Actually because of the true nature of Your love the separation between us must be hard all the time. Huh. It only makes me love You deeper. Jesus I want to love You back with the love You lavish on me. I want to choose to do it... so I will again lay my life down to do it. When it doesn't make sense that You can love me or really be there for me... You find a way. When I wonder how You'd protect me and look out for me without being physical... You prove it over and again. When I am overwhelmed with actually wanting to be with You ... You tell me how deeply You want that too. When I think I've had to handle alot .... You've borne more.