March 17.11
    Day 9 of lent.

   So I move around the house doing chores waiting to meet with You because I am waiting to wake up. It makes no sense any way so I will come and see what You can do with me. lol. After one more distraction I set my fingers on the keyboard determined. I like what I am hearing in the 66 Love Letters book.  That You are more concerned with making me Holy and how I am relating to You (and others) than if my life is going well or is comfortable or if I am managing it well based on biblical principles. So even though it's not wrong to pray for things to be better I cannot be consumed or have that as my top priority. Instead I need to pursue You and look to You and to be filled with You. And keep that as my one thing. I would really like to meet with You today Jesus and I know, You know, what I mean. My Lent's main goal is to be making the decision to be with You instead of being drawn away by busyness, selfishness or laziness. I fall into the last two today being so tired but I want to meet You despite that so I can no longer use that excuse.
 
   Hey Jesus even though I do things by rout sometimes, could You please meet me there too? I don't think I am necessarily doing things out of obligation, guilt or just because it is the right thing to do anymore.. but I also don't want to become lazy or legalistic in the way I try to connect with You. Show me the depths of my heart, my motives I pray. Even if it's ugly and needs pruning I'd rather that than waste time and get further away from You. Wow I still need to wake up it's a tough one today lol. Maybe some tea and food would help or.... a sleep hahahaha.

    Just got in for lunch and I was trying to fit some learnings together. Your intimate, crazy generous love  and Your desire for our Holiness and that that isn't equated with what happens per say in our lives. I looked out my window and saw huge fluffy flakes floating down... You go to such lengths to love us and is it in there somewhere that the spirit of entitlement slips in? We flip from being humbled and awed that You would meet with us to if I am following You Jesus I should have alot of this love ... which we in turn equate with comfort, satisfaction in life, ease. I wonder if this is why our first love of You is what You long for us to return to ... because that is a time where we are enamoured and so focused and loving just You for You and who we are discovering that to be... it is later that our love twists in being agenda motivated.

well I'm headed back out to my shop any words Jesus?