In a rowboat with Jesus

June13/11  Journal. 

   Feeling a little lost this morning... I just need to put one foot in front of the other. Last night when I was trying to go to sleep I couldn't get that line out of my head... 'He is jealous for me'...  I thought about what that meant.

   We laid in the boat, out on the ocean, rocking with the waves at the mercy of the tide and the wind. I closed my eyes to think and sing and sleep. You let me rest my head on Your chest. I thought about Glenn's statement about Mary reaching out to touch Your feet.  How that was a sign displaying 'You are my master, I am Your servant' and I thought of the times I too have reached out to touch Your feet.  That desperate longing to never be out of Your presence, the 'if only' I could hold onto the hem of Your clothing. And You reach out Your hand.... to Mary... to me. It's hard to believe we can even function in the realization and awe of who You are and what You do ... the mercy You extend, the grace, the love.
   And the small rowboat bobbed along. It's white coat fading and peeling from hours in the salty sea and being at the mercy of the wind and sun. Although not much to look at, it's steadfastness is evident in it's sturdy and uncompromised shape. It takes on whatever wave and gale come with it's ever present nod, needing only to be turned into the waves and wind by the hand of the captain.
   As the dawn broke open in newness of day, dripping with color, I awoke. My Jesus still there waiting with laughing eyes as my thoughts scrambled to take it all in. I sat up to face Him and He moved to readjust without the slightest hitch to tell of hours spent motionless and waiting. I slide over and with a soul heavy with awe and thankfulness I bow my head onto His lap and whisper over and over thank You, thank You, my Jesus... my God. In a moment I feel Your hand lifting my face to Yours. I didn't stay here just because I am a good God. Faithful, merciful, loving, compassionate ... I also stayed because I wanted to. I love being with you... I love you. Why wouldn't I want to be with someone as crazy in love with me as you are? Your laughter rings out but the softness in Your eyes melts my heart again. I cannot help but laugh along but it is colored with the awe that Your words leave me reeling in.