Journal excerpts...July 12/11

   Morning Jesus I never did get back to the computer yesterday. I just am needing to spend some time with You ...

   So we are walking along the roof lines and setting down candles some of them are inside of glass candle holders, some are in regular jars, while others are in nothing.  I believe this is for the girl.  I am following You.
   We then, go into the building we have spent the last few days in and run down the very dark stairwell. You give the door a big push and we spill out into the bright sunlight on the street. We are laughing and enjoying everything. You grab my hand and lead me between two building ... like always there is nothing but the buildings themselves ... no dirt or rocks, no garbage or anything in the alley. We come out of the alley and run across another street into the next alley ... wow! I had no idea there was another street yet! We are headed north. When we emerge again we are at the bottom of the green, there is a soft grass and dirt road that is winding it's way west which then curves into the trees.
   I am a little *scared inside, and I will explain this later, so I jump up on Your back to enter into where You are taking me. You are not in the least bothered, of course, and saunter with an easy stride towards the bend and the trees. I put my head down on my arm on Your shoulder... lol trying to get even closer to You. As we start the turn I see a sea of green. The trees now on both sides of the road are able to reach their branches over towards one another creating such a beautiful mottled canopy of light and green playing with one another in the breeze.  My friend I have been praying for is nearby isn't she?  Umhmm. I jump down and You hold my hand as we continue on. I am so dazzled by the beauty that I forget to breathe in the rich heady scent of what surrounds us. I hear water and You stop me. I cannot see where the path is going now but we aren't following it anymore. We enter the trees and brush and instantly it feels like we are in another world. Everything changes... light, perspective, sound, smell it's so amazing but we are not in here long ... as we walked, it was as if a path just revealed itself as we walked forward. Just as suddenly we enter a clearing with the most beautiful pool and the rocks that are on the one side to a ledge higher up is the source of the pool's water. It isn't a rushing waterfall but a quiet and constant one. The water trickles and falls and moves with soft voices all the way down to the pool. There you are my friend... in the sun, eyes closed in a very deep rest. I look at where we have come from and am not surprised, really, to see a very worn path that without a doubt Your feet know well. I walk a little closer to the water's edge and sit on a low flat rock. You move close to her and sit alongside her. You gently take her hand and I see her automatically shift closer... laying her head against the front of Your shoulder.
   Like I have seen so many times before, Your lips are moving as You speak right to her heart and soul, I hear nothing but know they will hit their mark. In the reverence of the moment I bow on my knees and let my heart swell with all that is within ... my devotion, my love, my awe, my all. Holy, Holy, Holy, let not one Word fall to the ground ever... so surround her with Your protective hands that the ministry and healing that happens here will never leave her but leave her changed forever. Holy, Holy, Holy, let Your very presence literally soak in and saturate her... oh that she would know such a depth of freedom in You. Holy, Holy, Holy.

*dearest Reader I will now explain my fear. Even after all the times I have met with Jesus there are moments that I know without a doubt a place is not a result of my imagination at all... in those moments I become afraid. Jesus is taking me somewhere I didn't see coming or cannot even fathom or dream up what could be behind that door or around that corner. In these moments in my utter lack of control besides the decision of going forward or not; I am at His mercy and all the insecurities swell up and I fear ... who am I? what if I can't handle it? what if I don't see? You know what? God can feel scary. He is huge and beyond my comprehension. And yes I know who I am in Jesus but I also know who I am and that, my friend, is cause for great fear when in the presence of Him.