"Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown" - Author Unknown -

Friday, January 20, 2012

July 9/11...  journal entry.

   Morning Jesus so I heard through the grapevine that You were talking about me :) Love You too. In fact I am actually feeling that welling up inside and I can't describe just how much I love that and want to thank You for it! (Learning lesson slowly hehehe) I guess I really just wanted to start this day out looking at You.

   We are sitting on the ledge of an open window, the kind where they whole window opens up like doors... the light drapes are billowing silently into the room behind us. There is a walkway outside kind of like a fire escape wrought iron railing and only the width of a couple of people. I sit with my knees drawn up and my arms wrapped around them my back against the window frame I sometimes look out and around but then always come back to You. You have this air of comfort where ever You are. There is never doubt or worry to be read in Your face or body language... just an assured contentedness and control. You make me feel so safe. Now that I am thinking about it You say so very much without words... I just need to pay attention.... keep my eyes on You.

    Most of the day has past now since I wrote that but I would love to return even for a few moments. I believe I know where we are Jesus. I think we are on the upper floor of the building we came into and had that meeting with all those others. That seems so long ago. This window faces north and it seems from the view that the ground gradually rises as it heads north which eventually leads to the hill top with the fountain and pool. The row of buildings across the street are a variety of heights... of some I can see the roof tops others only a row of blank windows stare back at me. This city is quite something for nothing is here that doesn't have meaning.
   This has many times been a place where we have met with others... is there someone with us now? I see You raise Your arm and point across the street to a window similar to ours. Funny how I never saw her before but she sits almost hidden in the shadows at the edges. Her eyes don't look up she looks very alone and at the moment, kind of lost... in what I can only presume is a swirl of negative thoughts and emotion. I glance up to Your face to see what You are saying or thinking. I see a wistful longing cross Your face as You turn to look into my face. I also see Your mouth turn up into a half smile and although there is a sadness touching Your eyes I also see an eternal determination, a resolute calm. She sinks a little lower now laying her head on her crossed arms facing the opposite direction. You close Your eyes now and so softly I hear You begin to sing. A melody so pure and sweet that resonates with love so thick it would drip like honey off the notes. I move closer to You and then, I too, close my eyes feeling the music. You sing.  With reverence of this Holy moment I reach out tentatively till my fingertips touch Your clothing. I let my heart and soul reach out to join Your music and I add what harmony I can more as a response than an addition but it comes from Your Spirit within me without a doubt. I have no idea what she hears but something is carried along with the breeze I am sure. A scent of night flowers drifts down from somewhere and I smell it come and go on the occasional breeze. The sun starts to sink which casts the stark contrast of a bright sun against the growing navy and purple bruising of shadows. The light becomes so warm in color as it dances and changes so fast in the west. It's touch so gentle and quick but with a power that changes the color of the buildings, streets and everything in it's path.   

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