Where else am I going to go?

Where else am I going to go?

    Jesus, those are the words that echo through my mind and heart... they may sound simple but it implies so much more. Your reply will always be the same... You are faithful beyond comprehension and I wonder if I ever dare try to wrap my mind around all it is... it seems forever intertwined with Your faithfulness. Your unending love and desire for us. I wonder if I really grasped the cost it is to You for this... how my soul would handle this kind of knowledge. From heart wrenching to feeling my wretchedness. From paralyzing awe to the desperation of my fallibility. To being pushed beyond what I can handle in light of it, for it to become the knowledge that is KNOWN by and wrapped up by Your impenetrable truth.

   Jesus You are making my chest ache. And it feels hard. It makes me feel desperate somehow... the desire, the need, the wish to be in Your arms more than anywhere else in the world or in existence. Life frustrates me as it also delights me and it is due You (in the good sense of course lol)

                                                      ... hang on...

  You are not asking me to just meet You intellectually and spiritually ... You are asking me for a related crossover into living that reality out. I may be doing that to an extent but it is a pretty poor shadow isn't it. Mostly when I take a moment to consider the ramifications of this lived out I am instantly at a loss as to what to do or how to proceed. but I don't need a 'plan' do I? Because it really isn't about what we do but how we do it... Instead in light of my understanding of who You are is the true base from which I need to work and live and respond out of. So no matter what is happening small to large my faith requires me to respond to all things out of the truth of You. injustice, hurt, wounding, apathy... they and all their incidents really are neither here nor there for in light of Your infinitely deep love for us we KNOW we are loved, cared for, fought for, we are special, sought after, wanted. We are allowed then to give these burdens to You to carry because we are so 'belonging' to You, intertwined with You due to Your love... we are asked to live free... to not only let go of burdens but to reciprocate with Your heart and Your love. We don't even have to come up with it on our own but can ask for it from You moment to moment.