here are the facts... decide

Dearest Reader,
   Bear with me... this is one of those posts that may or may not make sense.  You know those dreams that kind of stick with you?  Make you wonder if there was something more to it? If you read this you went into it forewarned... welcome to some serious rambling.

June 25/12  Journal excerpt.

Need You Jesus.

Thanks. You are here. I know You are...

   I wonder many times what to say but when I thought of You just now I remembered my dream... I wanted to be with someone but there being a very real barrier in the dream. The barrier was You but in that split moment I wondered if You were the other one too. 
   I need to cross over somehow, I have flitted along the edge of being with You too long... I weary of the come and go of it. How do I step into a new life lived being with You all the time? Is it possible or allowable? 
   Interestingly the other one in the dream seemed somehow a stranger but at the same time not perhaps the only reason for that was the feel of a type of separation. Also, I thought it was the other person that had to make the decision and I remember posing it just like that ... kind of like, here are the facts... You decide what it will be. Strangely and frustratingly there was absolutely no resolution in the dream.  Huh. But what if it isn't the other way around? What if it is me that needs to look at the God facts and decide what it will be? Here it is Tam... it is all or nothing... take it or it is done. That sounds pretty harsh, could You tell me more Jesus?  Resolve the story for me?