"Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown" - Author Unknown -

Thursday, November 8, 2012

a declaration

June 5/12, Journal entry.


   Jesus I am here!

   I burst into the room and even as I am closing the door, my eyes are quickly scanning the room for You. I cannot help but pause You are like the sweetness of new rain and wet earth... I breathe in and feel at once so much more like myself. Holy Holy Holy.
  You are sitting by the open window ... on it's ledge and I run across the room to You. You stand up to receive me into Your arms and then, if I ever wish for time to stop, it would be now.

   After a time, however, we are seated across from one another fully engaged in conversation while the breeze continues to breathe into the room the scent of life itself. The movement of the gauzy curtains lifting and falling catch my eye and I know You are here Sarayu. Welcome. My solemn moment yesterday afternoon has changed to anticipation and well... excitement. Anywhere Jesus... Anything. I thought about my journey, being a self labeled Jesus Freak, and it is interesting to note how we have sojourned together. Even after my awakening I continue to marvel at the levels and depths You take me ever so gradually.

What are You thinking Jesus?  
I am thinking today is a big day and we should stand and take it in.
  
And so we do. The window ledges we were sitting on is where we now place our feet. I look up and see the structure of where we are... it is quite grand. The windows alone must be over 12' high and they are wide enough to stand with ease and be able to move... The three windows are shaped in a bay window fashion, except to great size exaggeration and it's brilliant. The frames in which we stand are wide open the curtains hanging loosely on the outside edges while the middle two curtains have been draped over a hook halfway down and so are at half the length which is still above my head. The room behind us is dim and yet very clean ... and empty. The wood planked floor tells of much time passing yet is clean and holds a deep color from the years of wear and refurnishing. The walls are bare except for small lights that hang down that really only light a small space on the wall it nearly touches. They are not at all intended to light the room but it waits for it's time to light up a piece of artwork or a message. I have to say that stirs something deep inside of me and makes me smile. 
   I look over at You and see that You are watching me take in our surrounding with a bemused look on Your face and that familiar sparkle in Your eye. I take the two steps over to your window frame and stand with You... close to You.
 
  We look now at what is out there. 
   It is not in what I see however, it is what I feel. There is a statement being said in our stance together. There is a power of deep resolve and this leads me to feel the anticipation of whatever comes. Big, small, powerful, weak, all the vice verses, the contrasts, the light and dark. Whatever is revealed is what we step into... together. And it is good. To do this... to step into the unknown, the come what may, armed with... love... in all it's various and mysterious forms, unleashed by Your Spirit... brandished with Your strength... tempered with Your mercy, ablaze with Your justice. A long time ago at the beginning of my awakening You showed me an image it was a banner flown at the front of a parading army on it was embroidered a white stylized sword... Ephesians comes to mind "...and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints..." Hey Sarayu perhaps we will get to know each other intimately yet and as my smile breaks into a quiet laugh I feel once more the wind's breath upon my face and I close my eyes as I breathe as deeply as I can. Your arms then come around me holding me close and You lean down and whisper in my ear.

[You are mine. My beloved. You go NOWHERE without Me. You belong to Me.] 

  These words feel more than a message to me they resound like a declaration of (battle?) to what I cannot see.... yet. 



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