Journal entry Sept 16/10

   So I was on quite a high yesterday... you are so cool. And it's not that anything of consequence happened I just felt You and it flooded me with such joy.
   Wanna meet? My thoughts go to the building again and I hesitate in front of it.  Is it just because I cannot fathom what is inside? Your hand is on the doorknob... I smile at You ... this is so crazy... I cannot help but laugh out loud. Shrugging my shoulders, I watch as You turn the handle and push the door inwards. You step in with the door and reach behind Yourself as you step catching my hand and pulling me forward with You. All I see is darkness at first but there is no fear here... none. We walk down a hallway that is now dimly lit by a room at the end of it. My fingers touch and trail along the wall as we walk. The floor is an old, worn wooden floor and the sound of our feet on it (hang on I thought we had shoes on at first but we are barefoot) ... the floor only gives away our presence by occasional creaks and groans in the memory of  thousands of steps taken here. The darkness when we entered was of deep purpose. It eases all anxiety of those entering in... like a blanket thrown over one's shoulders which says you are welcome here just as you are... come be heard, come be safe. The light at the end of this hallway beckons us out of the darkness into a warmth of being present; where you feel that you've been waited for... not for what you have or bring ... just for you, your presence. I turn my head to see where we are headed and I catch You glance back with a smile. We step out of the hallway into a room that at first feels small and comfortable but is strangely large... almost like it can absorb any number of people who and when they arrive. There is a fire burning in the fireplace I see two chairs on either side of it and think it will just be You and I but those chairs are part of a greater circle. I glance around at the people sitting around the room and receive smiles and expressions of excitement and anticipation. I see You, Jesus, in these faces and I chuckle as my eyes come back to You. It is bizarre to grasp the intimacy that this group obviously shares. Jesus, I am suddenly filled with such a burden and desire to touch each one and pray for their protection and safety. I am filled with love for each one here and I can see that it being reflected back in their faces.
   We sit around in this circle, most of us, on the edge of our seats eagerly listening and sharing and connecting. There is laughter at the sheer abundance of Your greatness... this love that we share ... it is You. All our senses soak it up... just breathing in gives such a deep contentment that spreads throughout and it cannot be helped but to pour and radiate back out to all in this circle.
   Every now and again we hear someone coming down the hallway and into the room, at first with eyes only for You but then looking and seeing us all here.  Their expression says so much and there is always another chair, just ready. The conversation and sharing never seems to be interrupted, each one is absorbed in as if they've been there all along, they join in with an ease that is again ... You. I don't know how many are in this circle but it's never too big. I look over at You at one point and see such a look on Your face. You return my look and then, for a moment, close Your eyes smiling in such a deep satisfaction... You rest Your head back on the chair... letting out a deep breath. When You open Your eyes they flash with delight and love and mischievousness?? at the brilliance of Your ways and plans. Lol. You make me happy way down deep Jesus. There is more to this building isn't there. Hmmm.