Aug 14/11 Journal.
Morning Jesus I ran out of time last night but am surprisingly not sure about what You want from me today. I really thought something was to come of all that thinking and watching but perhaps not. I want to completely give myself to You. To ask You to fill me up with Yourself and help me let go completely of self and selfish ways. I want to be like You to those I get the honor of being around. Jesus I want You to be felt, touched, encountered by all who gather this morning. Continue to build us up as Your body as Your family... a totally inclusive family. Change and stir our hearts I pray.
So You reach over and pick up my hands and hold them in Yours. Your eyes hold mine as well. I want to love You, Jesus, like the one who is completely broken on the wheels of living. Knowing I have nothing to give but my heart, my own self. I want to take that risk. And is there any risk in it at all?
No. I laugh at the absurdity of it... knowing full well that my old self is so completely sure that it is soaked in risk, in danger, fraught with peril, hurt and damage. But the part of myself given to You is really the only part of me that is safe.
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