Journal entry August 4/10

     Here I am again a new day and I know how crazily I miss and need to meet with You.  Here I am Jesus,  all filled up with life and emotion.  Even though I have a list of things I wish to do and accomplish, all I really want is to be with You.  By Your side is where I belong... and is all that really matters.  I don't think I'll ever fathom how I can have a week where I feel You right here all the time and then have two where I don't take the time to meet with You and I lose that sweet, intimate connection with You.

     I know I am here and I want You to come find me.  I stand before the ocean that is roaring in might and power.  The water, as it touches my feet, is cold and shocking yet the air around me is warm and heavy with humidity.  The wind whips at my hair.  I close my eyes and know that my tears are so close... as I yearn for Your presence.  You are out in the waves and looking right at me when I open my eyes.  I start into the water's cold and the waves pull makes my walking hard but I cannot go anywhere else but to You.  I start to cry because You feel so far away and it's taking too long to get to You.  But You don't leave me there... I am pulled into Your arms as we dive together beneath the water's surface.  The fury of the surface waves are all of a sudden forgotten and I know I am safe.  You are now everything to me... oxygen, life, existence... how do I hang onto this?  Be in it here...   We are slicing through the water so fast and without the slightest resistance.  I just hang onto You.  I almost come to a complete place of rest being here with You as we move... I barely notice anything but You and the fact that I am hanging onto You.  I think I need to be here awhile.  You have brought me into a place with no distraction.

    I have passed through almost half the daytime and one thing is very clear... I need to to stay here with You longer.  My thoughts, at times, get muddled and start going down rabbit trails but there is still a distinct knowing that we are still together under the waves... I in Your arms.  This is right where I need to be; still.  I love You Jesus, I love You.

   Now the day is almost at a close and I have been in Your arms all day.  I don't know when I'll be able to leave here.  I was thinking in my shop;  it is so obvious that I need this time of being with You.  So then, how is it that I don't do this way more often, even out of complete and desperate need?  In a moment today I understood that here is where things are washed away.  Clearing up my vision, letting clouds dissipate that have been obstructing my sight.  And I know what happens hand in hand with that action... I am filled with what Your heart is, the aches and desires to pour out love.  Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.  There are so many reasons I love to say Your Name...