Journal entry July 29/10
Morning Jesus, I am just about to go out to work and I needed to check in with You.  The last two nights I have had dreams about people giving their condolences over my Dad and after a while it wakes me up and I have a hard time going back to sleep .. I seem to go over and over it. 

Wanna go for a walk? 

We walk through a field and pasture.  As we walk we take turns pointing out little and big things, enjoying all that is around us.  This makes us both smile.  We get to the top of a hill and we sit cross legged facing one another. The panoramic view from this hill is quite breathtaking but not even comparable to Your face... Your eyes.  I have nothing Jesus.  I have nothing.  While I sit here looking into Your eyes I believe I see something...  it's so many faces.  Some laughing, some crying, some serious, some asleep... and me.  Wow.  The myriad of faces keep scrolling by from all extremes and all those in the middle.  From every nation, time, and place. 

a song is playing telling of You in the garden...

Won't You take this cup from me
'Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray You'll save their souls with it

Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to You
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be Your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after You

In this hour of doubt I see
But who I am is not just me
So give me strength to die myself
So love can live to tell the tale
        -needtobreathe-

So it is now hours after and I am still thinking about You and all those people in your eyes. 
I feel better inside today... more looking towards You and being able to not be ruled by emotion. 
Thank You for that. 
Jesus I love You.