Journal entry of Dec 2 and it is banquet night. Pretty pleased all around I feel no striving just a desire to be about You tonight and be You, in love, to all I come to connect with. Holy God have Your hand upon it all, Holy Spirit breathe into us all...
I was reading just now but I couldn't get yesterday's time in the wood out of my mind and I am drawn back to You. To see what and where we end up today. :) You are much more addicting (love that). So this lamp that keeps showing up is so intriguing. I love it in image and what it could be saying without words. Hmmm.
Hey do we have or need to have anyone with us today? My lift my face to Yours lighting up with excitement. We are sitting on our couch and I hear some rocks rattling and look behind me to see someone coming along the river's edge towards us. I jump up thrilled and know that You are standing in anticipation too. With reserve, she continue towards us mostly looking at the ground. I cannot wait and as quietly as I can I move towards her. When I meet her I reach out my hands to her shoulders and wait for her to lift her eyes to mine and say Welcome with as much of my heart as I can. I put my arm in hers and we now walk towards You and I motion for her to join us.
She carefully doesn't make eye contact with You but I see all Your emotion written clearly on Your face and it just runs so very deep for her. We all sit quietly for a real long time ... listening to the water and all it's conversations. Everytime she adjusts on the couch I notice she gets a little closer to You and that makes me smile... I understand that all too well. Pretty soon You open Your arms to her inviting... she looks up into Your face finally and watches You for quite some time, I cannot begin to fathom all that rages within her. But You and Your love win out when I see that silent tear slide down her cheek and she moves not only to be in Your arms but climbs right onto Your lap resting her head just below Your chin on Your chest. You hold her firmly and I watch as she literally relaxes ... it's like all anxiety and fear, worry and self loathing are not only not needed here but are not allowed and it drains away as her.
I suppose that You will hold her for a long time as she finally rests so I move off the couch to allow You to snuggle with her better. I sit down on the ground right in front of the couch so my back is as close as possible to You both. As You whisper and rock Your sweet one I quietly pick up rock after rock and with only a touch I am able to paint them. Touching a splash of paint or covering it entirely ... with so many shades of yellow contrasted with the complimentary color of many blues cause shape and emotion to start forming around both of You and the couch. After much time I stand back to see the light of the lamp spilling onto the ground before it has even been turned on... cool. The last vestiges of light bounce of the paint giving it a life of it's own and I catch You looking at me with a twinkle in Your eye which I respond to with a huge smile knowing You feel how overwhelmed with love I am for You. I cover You both up with a blanket and pause to touch her on the shoulder to somehow give her my love too. I settle back down on the ground at the one end of the couch by the lamp. Knowing the light will turn on in only a matter of minutes as the day slips away once again.
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