April 10/11
Day 33 of lent

   I haven't felt this alive for a few weeks now. Wow I recognize it and it thrills me down deep! 
   At the same time that I was being surrendered to where I was, settling inside that I would go through it looking for You in it and letting You make the most of it... is exactly when You let me feel. Which makes the timing of this exactly You! lol. It's nice to feel what I know. It was very disorientating to not have that connection. And yet. I learned that You take care of me. So in that respect even though I didn't feel You near (like I am used to) I knew You were regardless. It scared me to realize how strong our flesh can be. This time of lent has helped me see this experiencially and take into serious consideration the weight of this reality. My dependence upon You is so complete and necessary... thank You for Your mercy once again and I mean that with more depth than even a few weeks ago.