Let's go back to the beginning

May 22/12

My head hurts really bad today but it is raining. 

I love You, Jesus. I am pretty unable to plan and think things through right now with this headache but if there is anything at all You want to say to me I am here and I am listening. I have come to see that discipline is a very necessary thing no matter where I am at. Jesus I see that it really is just another way of loving You. (lol wow that last sentence took about 8 min to write down and you would not believe the series of thoughts that just went through my head only to return to my first one lol) It is not in the reward of knowing much that comes from it but it is in the ability to at a moment's notice, to love someone well instead.

   What if we met back on that corner? After I back things up I am going to see if there is any chance that journal has been saved.

   (Dearest Reader... what corner?  Well it was on a corner of a place I did not recognize that Jesus introduced me to the 'city'.  In the next while I am going way, way back and am going to share where and how the city came to be.  There was a very young girl (I think around 3) I was praying for with serious medical issues and the way I met with Jesus to pray for her was in a very, very different way than I had ever done before and it seemed significantly linked to my city.  Therefore I will post some journals, just before the city, that contain some of my prayers for Rachael )

   Interestingly although my words are not necessarily in my mind anymore the images and my feelings are. I can see or relive what it was like to walk down that alley and being taken aback by the absolute absence of litter or dirt ... anything. and again sitting on the curb and reaching down to touch the gutter and see it clean and clear of all traces of anything. I think it was in this meeting that there was a choice to be made but perhaps that came later. But I remember wondering who would come to our city. Oh yes this all kind of came out of meeting with You and Rachael. So I knew the city was linked with prayer but it was all so unknown ground. I sure hope we can find it.

   So we sit while I wait impatiently and You laugh at me. Softly.  My head hurts. Yes and You pull me close and hold my head against Your chest for a little while. When I straighten up I look down at my feet and the gutter.... tracing the cement with my fingers. And then it starts to rain slowly at first I can see it rather than feel it... each spot that is hit changing color. Gradually the spots merge and the intensity of the rain increases. My jeans are now soaked and stick to my legs, I feel the rain soaking through my hair and run down through my curly hair and onto my sweater. But I am not cold. Finally when I look in the gutter I see a trickle of water now coursing it's way downhill.