A portion of a journal entry Sept 20/10

Hey Jesus... so a few things are rolling around in my mind...
   
   ... purity... as one of the deepest expressions of love.  So in this time here on earth it is that time isn't it? Where we realize Your love and how our love responds to Yours as we journey down a path of discovery and revelation. There is anticipation and delight at each new thing we learn about one another and how Your touch redeems, restores, frees and heals us.  It is preparing us to be Your bride. Two thoughts... one, monks really caught something didn't they.  Secondly, some think of this time here to be endured until something better comes BUT You want to KNOWN by a bride that comes (in free choice) to KNOW You which leads to such a depth of relationship. You never leave Your beloved broken and bleeding but desire to reach out and hold as You heal and free in Your continuing and faithful love.

   Our time here is like a courtship. And what You give is not flawed in any way. It is characterized by such a depth of purity which far exceeds our attempts to express love ... that purity tells such a tale of a true and sacrificial love that cannot be matched. I am coming to think that when the world tells it's stories of love, it is proof of Your existence .... Your existence in us.  We long for You, which means we long for this kind of love and it comes through over and over and over... through our art, our writings, our theatre and movies... again and again the things that moves our souls is in the description of what real love looks like, feels like, acts like... it breaks our hearts to witness even a glimpse of it because we know that we know that this is real and we are far from it. Yet we want it. So briefly back to the monks and of course for me Brother Lawrence. He lived a life in love to You. He really caught it. There is something to be heralded about the one who lives to be God's alone. Shauna said she would love to be a monk how brilliant is it indeed... living Your life to God and for God required to only do the necessity of living and dedicating all other time to You alone... and really being allowed to not live by the world's standards of success / failure expectations culture etc.  Okay, but here's the rub... wouldn't it be even cooler if these amazing people could live not cloistered away (for most of the time) but live among us who choose really, to be so interconnected with the world and it's ways. But hang on perhaps that can't happen because part of their purpose it to remind and inspire and 'give permission' (not literally) for us to live differently exactly where we are.