Jesus I did have a great night last night. The thing that stays with me still though is that You are right here with me. I want to be more and more aware of Your presence till it becomes tangible to me. I want this badly. For what else is there really? Everything spills out of You ... of us being together and KNOWING one another. 
   Jesus?  Yes? I want to call on Your 'plentitude' for me ... I am feeling that familiar ache of needing to be loved, seen and heard . I normally would look for it in others but I know that that will not satisfy this deep longing because it is You I actually hunger for. So I want to give You this loneliness because wrapped up in the desire to be near You is selfishness and insecurity too. 
   Oh wow.. I just  wrote that I wasn't going to look for this in others and what did I just do... I texted 3 people. Looking at it I see something interesting... when I am in an emotional place bad or good I often want to pour out some love on those in my life.  It's like I want to make sure that others don't feel unheard or unloved... so I reach out.
   Jesus will You meet me today? Really meet me? I will wait here I can't seem to move. 
... journal entry, Oct. 15/10