If I am not to let emotion rule me and I am to let You be about me instead of me. If I need to rest on what is Truth... who You are; then I need help right now. Jesus I am glad You KNOW me. I would be very lonely otherwise. How can anyone else ever be expected to fill that need that we have... to be KNOWN and loved despite it all. Jesus fill my heart and mind with where You want my thoughts and vision to be.  Just had a thought... everyone around me judges me against a backdrop of what they think is perfect or ideal. I am not only unable to live up to anyone's standards (which interestingly will be different for every person) but it is as hopeless to try to do that, as it is to try to be 'good enough' for the salvation of my soul. We are not perfect so why do we keep expecting it of everyone around us? We are warped.  Sadly.

   I made it through most of today but I am here again on the threshold of allowing others to control me indirectly through reaction and response. I need to hold onto You and refocus. 
   Journal entry... Oct. 18/10